House Wives Need Cash Blog

GO BUY MY MOVIE FUCKERS!

Posted by eatadump
2:11 PM, Thursday, November 20, 2008 .. Link

Hahahaha, seriously if you want me to keep dealing with these ridiculous creatures called women then I'm going to have to go on alot of vacations. Alot of vacations means a much nicer me. Much nicer me means I can deal with alot more whores and make more movies. More movies means more money which equals another vacation. So go get a copy, I'm doing this for you (lol) God it's a vicious cycle.

But Check

Posted by eatadump
6:16 PM, Wednesday, November 19, 2008 .. Link

this out! & another thing, I'm fucking pissed! I almost wrote some shit I'll probably be glad I didn't in a week (unlike this person). I have a hard time letting people & things go. Especially when they are wrong! What ever happened to giving someone the benefit of a doubt? (shit I wasn't even the one that fucked up!) Now it's fucking guilty till proven innocent. Ya know when you get mad and you wish (after the fact) that since you're getting blamed for what you didn't do, it almost would of been better if you did it. Wow, that's a mouth full (lol) Ya know, prove them right. Well that's how I feel. I'm pissed, still at work & all I wanna do is go to bed, fuck everyone... .. . Whores!

A Note From Craven

Posted by eatadump
6:06 PM, Wednesday, November 19, 2008 .. Link

I usully wouldn't do this & my blog is no fucking heart wrenching, wipe you tears kind of place (unless I am writing about you) but Craven never asks me for fucking anything so of course I am going to throw up whatever he needs. So here's the plug bro. You can either send money to their myspace via emailing them or I will make sure 50% of whatever you send me get's to them (lol)

Mr. Moorehead Writes: (ps I can't believe someone actually is worse at writing than me, nothing has been changed to keep the integrity of Cravens writing)

Here's the link to his bulletin.

ya know what, even better go to their fucking myspace Pitch in bitches!

OMG! Funny Videos

Posted by eatadump
3:31 PM, Wednesday, November 19, 2008 .. Link

Well I've been collecting these funny videos now for a while. It's taken me a second to get this final cut thing down. I'm still not very good and my friend Smokey pretty much hates me now with all my questions. But a couple of them are up on our store, actually the new store, www.youtube.com/shamelessamateurs (fucking damn link button) A couple of them are funny, actually really funny. My personal favorite has already been deleted, it's called "Softcore Piledriver" and it stars Swiss Balls & Natalie Norton. In what could only be described as a masterpiece of digital media capturing (can't say film making I guess since it's not film) The technical master of my camera work is legendary. Nowhere in the world has someone captured the illusive "Softcore Piledriver" in such a romantic way (lol) Well, in it's 2 minutes of glory it was viewed my 98 lucky bastards. hopefully these will make it a little longer. Check em out! *The links on the side as well for those of you who can't cut and paste

Blah Blah Blah, You're A Dirty Whore!

Posted by eatadump
11:31 PM, Tuesday, November 18, 2008 .. Link

Jayme Langford retires. Whoop de fucking do. Hot girl that never took the dick and always had a lame attitude on set. This girl rubbed me the wrong way ever since I met her on set for Naughty America in a lame girl girl girl scene. She had the worst attitude ever then to top it off my friend (or so called friend) Joe Joe, aka Joe Joe Productions aka Porn Star Poacher #1 aka I own Craven Mooreheads house and he is having hard times so I let him crash there used to date her. Should of known right there. Anyways, bon-voy-age Ms. Langford. We will miss your read headed vagina getting tooled by toys. I'm sure we'll still be seeing you on Bella's site though.

Forrest Hump

Posted by eatadump
11:02 PM, Monday, November 17, 2008 .. Link

Alright, well I saw one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time on this past trip. Now it's not very often that the crew and myself find the same things funny. Maybe me and my friend Smokey will laugh at something, maybe it's talent, maybe it's me and the producer but all of us? Not very often. Well when I see Smokey up on a hill looking like he just walked in on his parents banging I know it's gotta be goodl. So before he even yells for me I haul ass over and up this hill to see what he's laughing at. As I approach the top of the hill I hear it, the sound that Forrest Gump made in the movie. Ya know the sound when his Mom was bangin the teacher to get him in the not retarded school. Haaaaaah, Haaaaaaahhh, Haaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Kinda like a donkey. Well I get to the top of the hill and I see a fucking 4 way going on with these damn turtles or whatever the hell they are (I'm sure one of you fuckers will correct me) Fully fucking going at it. Well I haul ass back down to the car and get my camera and run back to get a pic and two had already stopped. So I risk life and limb and dive into the cage to get you, my readers the shot of the century. Shit, I was thinking of sending it in to National Geographic. Seriously though, they didn't take direction very well. It was kinda like shooting my friend Porno Dan. Either way it was hilarious and made my day.

Pinkie Finger Update

Posted by eatadump
6:25 PM, Monday, November 17, 2008 .. Link

Well the dang thing isn't broken but it's BIG! It look's like a finger version of Erik Everhards penis. So any girls that want to get ravaged by the biggest pinkie in porn hit me up.

ihatewhores.com

Posted by eatadump
2:18 PM, Monday, November 17, 2008 .. Link

Seem's like I might not of made a fan with my letter over to one of my blog buddies. Well at least I didn't piss him off to much, he went easy on me (lol not really) Regardless, even if I was a douche with my promo plug, his blog is great (yeah, it was kinda lame for me to do it. I did think we were internet friends though) so check out his blog. He's actually one of the people that inspired me to be a little more raw on here. I guess he kinda deserves a thank you. (my fucking link button isn't working again) here it is ihatewhores.com

The 90 Degree House Boat

Posted by eatadump
2:01 PM, Monday, November 17, 2008 .. Link

OK so the past couple of days I have been away on a Shane’s World trip. Usually they go off without a hitch. Maybe a sore back from an uncomfortable bed, headache from getting drunk the last night ect. This time was a little different though. Apart from being on a houseboat for 4 days & crashing the thing multiple times it was dope. Shit, even crashing the thing was fun, we got full coverage. Well I know better than try and man handle a fucking houseboat but on our third meeting with our polish dock (the rocks) I had had enough. I jumped off & tried to push the thing off the rocks. Swiss Balls, aka my partner in crime hopped off to help too. Well we get this thing off the rocks and as it slowly pulls away & I’m trying to get on, the edge of the lake dips into this cove. I let the fucking boat go so I don't get chopped up like sashimi by the propeller & watch as the boat barely skims out to the lake.

Fucking awesome! I sitting on the cliff as the thing putters away. Casey Parker in her infinite wisdom decides to throw me a life preserver doughnut that has no rope attached to it to pull me in (now don't get all sentimental, she only did it after being prompted on camera by one of the other Shanes World shooters) I can fucking swim! Natalie Norton decides to throw me my swim trunks (which was dope) & right as they hit the water here comes Swiss! Full speed off the boat to save me (lol) what a guy, never leaves a man down. How fucking funny! Fully swan dives off the boat and swims in to the shore. Talking to him later he says that he immediately regretted it. Well the boat comes around & pulls into the shore full throttle. I try and get down the little cliff & the rocks start to slide. Well this fucking boat is coming in full speed & it looks like I'm gonna get hit. So as my ass is sliding down, I put my hand down to brace my fall. Ouch! My hand fucking hurts. I look down and my finger is literally sticking out like @ a 90 degree sideways angle. The shit popped right out of socket. Now I'm not too sure what completely happened from there because my memory is a little blurry. What I do know is that I grabbed my finger, yanked it straight out and re-set the dang thing. Crazy what you will do when you see shit like that. I just remember looking at my finger and being so happy that there weren't any bones sticking out I was like, minor. Pull snap OUCH!!!! Besides that I had a great time.

Fast forward to 3 day later at home, trying to get an appointment to see a doctor and having a full schedule this week. Go gimpy!!!!

Sorry About Lagging

Posted by eatadump
5:43 PM, Wednesday, November 12, 2008 .. Link

On the entries lately but I have been fucking swamped. Actually ya know what, fuck it, I'm not sorry at all. Actually, I've been thinking alot about this blog and what it is. Does anyone actually read it? Do I care? Yeah kinda. Do people find my writing funny? Who knows, I do know that I sure annoy alot of people with my grammar. But you know what, I feel like I have been stiffeling myself and writing lame kinda PG 13 stories. Protecting peoples name, and kinda just telling lame stuff. I did feel like I started to shine with my Berlin stories though (thanks for the BIG UP Gia Jordan) But my promise from here on out, to tell the fucking truth. Fuck this Disney shit. Besides that I got nothing. EAT A DUMP

Shameless Plug from Shameless

Posted by eatadump
1:32 PM, Friday, November 7, 2008 .. Link

*Hope ya like it, I spent a long time on the box & layout of the 32 page book.

Shameless Amateurs Vol 1 (yeah my 1st movie)

Posted by eatadump
1:30 PM, Friday, November 7, 2008 .. Link

Chatsworth, Calif – Frathouse Films, the amateur arm of Shane’s World Studios, is releasing the first volume of Shameless Amateurs. The first offering features 17 adorable amateur girls giving you an intimate glimpse into what brings them to real orgasms. The DVD is a 2 disc set loaded with extras like interviews, a photo gallery and bonus footage. But the best extra is the 32 page booklet that comes packaged with the set. With the photo booklet and beautiful 3-panel packaging, the title is sure to be an attention grabber that no fan can pass up.

The movie features 5 girls that were doing their very first scene on camera, providing fans a very intimate view of these first-timers experiencing their first onscreen orgasms. Then covergirl Georgia explores her body while going through the local carwash. It’s raw and real footage of what these sexy amateurs do to achieve ecstatic orgasms.

The movie is the first in an ongoing series that will feature nubile young amateurs exploring their sexuality in different ways. Future volumes will focus on oral and POV sex, always with a bevy of shameless amateur beauties.

Distributors and retailers can order Shane’s World titles, including all Frathouse Films titles, by calling 1-888-SW-RULES or via email at sales@shanesworld.com

I Really Didn't

Posted by eatadump
11:16 PM, Tuesday, October 28, 2008 .. Link

Want to write anything because I liked the picture below so much (lol) Isn't that funny. Well I once again have been criticized for my lack of grammar and punctuation (well at least I spelled those 2 big words correctly) Christian said my blog is funny it's just hard to get through sometimes. I agree, I guess. It usually makes sense to me but I am the one writing the damn thing. No one is above criticism, even myself (lol) so I will do my darn-dest to cut back on my run on stories. The thing that sucks is that's how I think, fast and long. It's like I'm almost afffraid that if I don't get the idea out of my head fast enough I will forget it. Gosh, sucks to be me.

Ooohh, look what I did. Mom! I just started a new paragraph. Anyhow, the past couple of days have been long and agrivating. A friend of mine has been a pain, everything I try and get accomplished feels like it takes for fucking ever. One step forward, three steps backwards, fucking-a! Finally got my movie almost finished. My box art is finalized (yeah) my magazine is being finalized (super yeah) and my street day for my 1st movie is Nov 20 and I am thrilled. I'll post my box cover as soon as I get the color corrected final tomorrow. I'll be interested to see what everyone has to say about it.

Look, I did it again. I had an interesting dinner with my pal Dan tonight, Sammy came and joined us for a bit too. We were laughing about our trip to Berlin and all of the shananigans that went on. I think that the best part of the trip was when we got home I had 2 myspace friend requests from the girls that hated us (lol) Are you kidding me in real life? The girls that all they did was complain want to be my fucking friends? WOW! WHORES! Ya can't live with em and ya can't kill em. That's a completely different movie. What's your rate for snuff? Back to dinner at the super awesome the end place called Pinochio's (is that how you spell it?) in Burbank. I have been a loyal customer there since high school. Know for great Italian food that's reasonable & super good. We polished a bottle Chiante, ate and called it an evening. Not to bad of an end to a shitty day.

I Think This Might Be

Posted by eatadump
8:55 PM, Sunday, October 26, 2008 .. Link

Rocco Reid & Nikki Rhodes? Hahahahaha, nah just an image from one of my favorite sites www.thecobrasnake.com (fucking A fix the link button already) Check it out!

Here Are A Couple More

Posted by eatadump
7:20 PM, Sunday, October 26, 2008 .. Link

Random pics from our trip. These are just us fucking around.

*This is Johnny Thrust & Jim Lane in the hotel lobby of the Kipinsky Hotel. They pretty much hated us there, but the lady at the kids clothing shop thought we were funny as hell.

*That's me getting bitch slapped by a mannequin in the lobby.

*Yeah, I thought this was pretty random as well, a fucking van with surf racks on it. Even better than that they say Surf Club Berlin (I think or maybe it's Surf Shop Berlin) but either way it's classic.

*This is my pal Jim Lane taking a rest at the show.

*A picture of me and my friend Jazz with the man "Rocco"

*Room 1145 at the Hotel Kipinsky, the Presidental Suite, Our shooting room. The room Rocco got busted shooting in 2 years ago in Berlin and went to jail in. The room I found out all these stories about the night after we were shooting until 3am in. Which is also the same floor they closed off to renting because of the noise and amount of people we had in and out. Fucking amazing!

*One of the chicks after one of our shoots, I just thought it was a cool picture. Some random female talent eating room service, probably starving because she hasn't eaten in a couple of days because she's been getting tooled in the butt and she's just chillin, naked, smoking a cigarette. Amazingly sexy but totally different.

Oooooohh Renata

Posted by eatadump
7:15 PM, Sunday, October 26, 2008 .. Link

Renata, Renata, Renata. This by far was my favorite girl of the trip. I thought she was so fucking sexy. I totally had a Euro lame non English speaking ooooohh that turns me on even more work crush on her. Here are a couple of pics from my point & shoot of here after one of our shoots. I think she was waiting for her boyfriend to come pick her up or something, whatever. The point is she is HOT!

Pretty Cool

Posted by eatadump
7:09 PM, Sunday, October 26, 2008 .. Link

Fucking statue, technically I think it's called a "Bust" of Stalin. The weirdest thing about it is that as I was driving by it it totally reminded me of Derrick from LA Direct, weird. Seriously though, the profile totally looks like him. If you look carefully on the top left corner of the "Bust" you can see the hammer & sickle, a sign of the old Soviet Union.

I'm In A Glass Case Of Emotion

Posted by eatadump
6:59 PM, Sunday, October 26, 2008 .. Link

Nevermind, here's a fucking box of cigarettes from Europe that says stupid German shit on the side.

Just Some Funny Signs From Berlin

Posted by eatadump
12:06 PM, Tuesday, October 21, 2008 .. Link

*beat us

*Moorbad, that's Craven's Uncle

*Spark-Ass, this one is for Smokey

*1-STD, this one needs no explanation. Oh man, only 1

Our Haunted Mansion

Posted by eatadump
11:15 AM, Tuesday, October 21, 2008 .. Link

So, besides the fact that we are 3 hours outside of Berlin in Poland, we are also in one of the sacriest houses I have ever been in. Seriously, I am one of those people that have these weird feeling about stuff and they usually end up either happening or at least end up being along the right lines. Well, this house feels creepy! Now I tried to make these pictures a little creepier than they ended up turning out because during the day the place just doesn't have the same creep factor. Here's a couple of the pics.

*Creepy hallway in the basement.

*Creepy stained glass on the 2nd floor stairway.

*The Creepy dinning room with the metal shutters that lock you in, they also close randomly.

*Super creepy stairway up to the 1st floor, complete with squeaky wooden stairs.

*In real life, this is a room that is up in the attic. I don't even want to know what goes on up there.

And to top everything off there is this picture, now I'm not sure exactly what the correlation between flys and weird shit is but there is some kind of connection. Isn't there always fly correlated with the super natural? Well, there is an over abundance of flys here in this place. I swear to god, in Jim's room there was like 60 of them trying to get out of the window but they were all slow and lathargic. Very weird, there were like 3 of them in the bathroom and they were so slow that I could step on them.