Muff Bumper Patrol Blog

All I Know

Posted by eatadump
4:04 AM, Monday, September 29, 2008 .. Link

Is that it is 4:04am and I have been organizing my pictures and cleaning up my hard drives since 6 fucking 30 pm yesterday. God I wish I would of known then what I know now about digital organization for my photos! Are you kidding me right now. I am getting delerious.

Just A Little Something

Posted by eatadump
4:21 PM, Sunday, September 28, 2008 .. Link

So last night I went to the Pirates Premiere and there was one thing I just couldn't get over. That no matter how comfortable I am with my sexuality, no matter what the amount of booze or pills, no matter who my date is I will never be comfortable watching people hump on a big screen with 500 complete strangers. It was just weird, that's all there is to it. Point blank, end of conversation. I do gotta give it up to DP though, the movie looks fucking amazing. The dildo parody in the begining was too fucking funny. Mr. Ben English was fucking hilarious as well, I would of never though of him as a comedian. All in all I was pretty impressed. I would of loved to seen the raw footage of Bella & Jessie's scene though. I'm sure there is some really good shit in there. Proceeded to get drunk next door about 30 minutes into the movie because as I said earlier, it was creepy. My "whoremotional" friend rear ended a car. She has one of those cars that have the back up cam. Well, I saw it coming, obvously she didn't though & BANG! I'm sure a BIG sorry goes out to the person with the Lexus she hit. So as I sit here on a lazy Sunday afternoon and reflect on my weekend I gotta say it was a really fun one.

itsandy.com

Posted by eatadump
2:59 PM, Monday, September 22, 2008 .. Link

Funny little rant from my friend "It's Andy" hopefully you can read the screen cap. OK so you cant read the damn thing I just posted it and it is way fucking small. So here is what he said:

Post title: DJ AM & Travis Barker

People are dying in a senseless war, global warming is causing enormous storms, genocide is being committed in darfor, and our economy is going down faster than a $2 Tijuana hooker and you guys are more concerned with DJ AM & Travis Barker...really??? Wtf is wrong with this picture??

Don't get me wrong, it sucks that they got injured and even worse that those other ppl died in that plane crash, but should that really be your priority??

here's a tip, turn off MTV and turn on CNN!

just my 2 cents

-itsAndy. com

PS

Posted by eatadump
5:35 PM, Friday, September 19, 2008 .. Link

BIG thanks to my boy ITSANDY.COM check out his site bitches!!!

OK

Posted by eatadump
5:28 PM, Friday, September 19, 2008 .. Link

So I didn't get any fricken responses to my Porno Dan Contest and I'm feeling a little let down. Either I run a really shitty contest or people really don't give a fuck about my friend. And that my friends makes me sad. Maybe it was the fact that the party was being held in North Hollywood that scared everyone off, was it too gangsta? Was the over abundance of strange vagina too much for everyone to handle? Was the fact that no one could ever get a handle on Dan to make hanging out with him any fun? I don' t know but I'm not running anymore contests for a while. Either way his party was fun, I shot a gallery for AVN which should be up later today and I'll throw the link up. Something funny about the party was the Perrier booth that they had. Turns out that they were having this promotion and they were calling it Sexier which I though was funny, they also had Kinkier & Flirtier. I ended up drinking Perrier & Cokes all night, no booze for me. So basically it sucked. My liver needs a break, go straight edge (lol) Have a fun weekend. Julia Ann's Bar-B-Q on Sunday, yeah!!!

One Last Thing

Posted by eatadump
10:06 PM, Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .. Link

Before I go to bed this evening.I want to wish Mr Porno Dan a very Whore-ppy Birthday. Tomorrow, his birthday should be afucking blast. Anyone who wants to go should hit him up to get on the list or check out his blog for info (it's in the lnks list bitches)

Yeah, I Have A Pretty Romantic Video To Share

Posted by eatadump
4:49 PM, Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .. Link

You can either CLICK HERE or just click on our Youtube account on the side.

While I Was

Posted by eatadump
2:25 PM, Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .. Link

On the Douche Cruise we stopped in Ensenada Mexico and decided to take our drunk asses to Papa's & Beer. This would of been such a normal easy thing if 1. Cravens wife (almost ex) wouldn't of been on the cruise 2. We wouldn't of had thoughts of all of us ending up in a Mexican jail (she would totally do something like pay the federales to do something like that) 3. They wouldn't of had automatic weapon's on very large 4x4 vehicles that they could run us down with. Well, we made it in and out of Mexico unscathed (well everyone except Jack) and as we got back on the bus and headed back to the ship one thing entered my mind and that was the American Express commercials. Here is our version.

Ticket for Kandi Kruise $500-

Coffee Cake in Mexico $29

Ensenada Tourist T-Shirt $10

Craven making it back to the boat in one piece, PRICELESS!

So I Am Back From

Posted by eatadump
1:01 PM, Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .. Link

My Cruise, the Kandy Kruise or as us who were on the cruise liked to call it the Douche Cruise. Ya wanna know the fucked up thing about it is that 2 days later and a ridiculous amount of water later I still feel like I am on that fucker. Fun times!

Update On Deena Daniels Bukakke Experience

Posted by eatadump
12:59 PM, Wednesday, September 17, 2008 .. Link

Yesterday I get a call from Porno Dan saying that his little sweet cheaks Deena Daniels was trying to get ahold of me. Low & behold here is the message I received this am. well here is the version of what happened to me. as everyone already knows i absolutely love guys! and a bukkake with all guys didnt seem bad at all.....i have watched a few girl/girl bukkake's but they looked terrible because the girls were pretty much peeing on the one girl and laughing at her, it was so bad the girl that was the star started crying. anyway i had no idea that 57 guys would actually show up for this shoot! i had been having a bad week as it is because i have been a little homesick for my family and i was feeling quite lonely. the whole thing couldnt have gone any better. the makeup artist put on extra thick lashes so it shielded all the cum from my eyes :) and she did a fantastic makeup job! the photographer was amazing! she made sure she got all the great shots.....i looked amazing in almost every pic because she was very helpful in helping me pose. the scene was so surreal to me because it was like a dream i had once had a long time ago. in the scene i was sitting on a toilet that was placed in a random empty room.....it started out with me masterbating as if no one was around and then before i climaxed i close my eyes and opened them to find a room FULL of turned on guys. i got to masterbate a little longer while they were all watching. i looked around the room and tried to make eye contact with all of them. each guy was very unique and different from the rest but they all had a little smile on their face....a few guys i knew were there too ;). then i layed back and closed my eyes as every guy came on me...it was very weird but in a weird way i liked it (except that there were a couple guys who need more sugar in their diet) i really wish i could have worn goggles so i knew which guy was cumming on me each time. lol and it would have been hilarious because my goggles are pretty bad ass ha ha i really want to thank jim for giving me that experience, never in my life did i ever think i would be able to get that many guys to come on me so quickly! i dont think i have ever felt more precious in my life! i really felt like the hottest thing in the room! and every guy was soooo nice and soooooo respectful! jim is also the best director in my opinion he made it so easy for me.....and he is so naturally talented with the camera as well as organized in the way he shoots his content. jim is definatly a great person and he has such a positive energy about him that just makes a room glow. i could go on forever about what a cool guy he is....and i have never met his wife but i am sure she is an amazing girl! after the shoot was over a few people helped me out with papertowels so i didnt get it everywhere, dan was there to help me with whatever i needed including a papertowel to shield my pussy from all the cum.....because after the fun was all over ha ha it did gross me out a little :). he guided me to the shower and got all of my shower supplies for me from my porn bag. and to clear things up.....dan is not my boyfriend....he is just a really great friend. i hate having boyfriends because i hate being owned and relationships are based on white lies anyway....ive tried to explain this to porno dan and his friends lol but whatever, i dont mind if they call me his girlfriend its just annoying when they announce it because then i feel like a horrible girlfriend because i couldnt help but flirt with all the guys. im pretty sure i wont have a relationship until i am at least 25, i spent 16-20 years old being in love and 2 of those years i was married and i was faithful till the last month of the 4th year which is very very hard for me to do. he he. so right now im just having fun and experiencing life because before porn i had never even been to a club...i never even drank until i was 20. im very blessed to be in porn and get paid to get laid! it also has changed my life in ssoooooo many ways. i am so secure with myself and so much more aware of my body, i also have learned that i can find just about 1 thing in every guy that turns me on :) as long as they arent a jerk. and i have overcome so many fears! and re-enacted so many of my dreams and fantasies......ITS FUCKIN AMAZING!. ------------oh ya and one more thing, cum is amazingly great for your hair. i have never had hair this soft before :)

Sophia gets a Blackzilla style anal plowing!

Posted by Blackzilla
2:53 PM, Friday, September 12, 2008 .. Posted in My Mom's Fucking Blackzilla .. 0 comments .. Link

We all love a hot mom, and none more than a hot mom willing to take it up her tight little butt! Watch as Sophia puts her huge tits and firm ass to the test as she gets an anal plowing from Blackzilla!

Sophia FROM My Mom's Fucking Blackzilla

I'm Outta Here

Posted by eatadump
2:17 AM, Friday, September 12, 2008 .. Link

Time for me to get outta dodge for a minute. Ya know, hit the road. Now just a little note to my girls, don't get your whoremotions all tied up in a bundle. Sit down, take a break, you've been a busy little bee. Take a jacuzzi, eat a veggie burger, take time for the special people, watch your favorite teevo'd episode of that gay dance show you all watch (lol) reminisce on the past week, think long and hard and before you know it I'll be back. Poof!!! That was a joke, but seriously, in real life I'm outta here. Wish I had a guest blogger.

Another Contest: A Romantic Picture Of Porno Dan & His Girlfriend

Posted by eatadump
1:42 AM, Friday, September 12, 2008 .. Link

True love or pure stupidity? This is my pal Dan (on the right, that's Jim Powers on the Left) And all those lucky guys in the background are the bukakke boys

This is Deena Daniels, the girl that Dan is dating and the lucky recipient of all the bukakke boys loads

This is my friend Dan escorting his freshly loaded girl up to the showers at Van Nuys Studio (where I'm sure he fucked her because he is a sick fuck)

Now to me this is where things get interesting. Looking at the last picture, Deena looks so excited (now I'm not sure if this is a turn on or off) Her look of utter enjoyment of having all of that random jizz all over her face. Also the fact that she is playing with herself. Or, is she rubbing cum into her vagina hoping to get pregnant? Say it's Dan's then collect from from Dan and have the 1st official bukakke baby? I have no idea which it is but there is the one thing I would like to know, the million dollar question. What in the hell is Dan thinking right now? God I should be at XXXJays house right now getting really fucked up earlier than I will be later? I can't beleive I am taking notes at a Bukakke? Or is he still pissed because he got kicked out of the Cabanna Room for the VMA aferparty? I have no idea but, enter the damn contest and win something. Winner will be announced sometime next week.

*Please send all entries to eatadump@gmail.com, the lucky winner of the contest will get the chance to meet Porno Dan and actually ask him what he was thinking and also receive 1 free coctail at his birthday party & maybe get some ass on their own at a porn party.

DISCLAIMER: Eatadump.com does not guarantee the state of Porno Dan at his birthday party. Eatadump.com does not guarantee that Dan will be coherent enough to answer any questions asked by said winner. Eatadump.com does not guarantee a good time at Dans party or condone the practice of unsafe safe sex at Dans party. Especially after Dan might of had sex with said talent, Eatadump.com does recognize that Dan has no heart, and the void in his chest that used to be his heart is his inner 3rd testicle. This my friends is why Porno Dan is able to have sex a bizillion times in a day and just like Nick Manning drop numerous loads on unsuspecting whores daily. That said, good luck.

Elastic Alectra!

Posted by Smutguy
5:23 PM, Friday, September 5, 2008 .. Posted in Teen Cum Dumpsters .. 0 comments .. Link

No matter how how much meat you're packing, Electra's ready to get you jacking! Stretch her young pussy and fill up her crack... Elastic Alectra keeps the boys cumming back!

Alektra FROM Teen Cum Dumpsters

India Summer goes nuts for some young cock!

Posted by MILF Invaders
4:47 PM, Friday, September 5, 2008 .. Posted in Milfs .. 0 comments .. Link

Hickory dickery dock, the MILF sucked the cock. She rolled out of bed just to give some head but get her pussy invaded instead!

India Summer FROM Milf Invaders

Karina is Blackzilla tested and approved!

Posted by Blackzilla
4:33 PM, Friday, September 5, 2008 .. Posted in My Daughter's Fucking a Black Dude .. 0 comments .. Link

Karina is the very definition of a hot daughter! With her huge rack and perfect round ass... when she catches a glimpse of her first big black cock, she turns from daddy's little princess to Blackzilla's little whore!

Karina O'Reilley FROM My Daughter's Fucking a Black Dude

Updates... .. .

Posted by eatadump
10:52 AM, Friday, September 5, 2008 .. Link

I fucking hate it when I do that. i just wrote a whole fucking update and my damn computer froze! Piece of shit. Anyhow, I forgot some very, muey im por tant te catagories for Mr. P-Dizzle's Award Show. I really have to thank my friends over at GFY (Especially BV) for keeping it real. I can't beleive I forgot these.

You forgot:
meatiest vagina
most buttspokes
and most pimples on their ass.

This from Schmeggy aka SWMegan aka Satan aka Whoremotional:
Most Likely to OD at the Circle Bar
Biggest Primadonna aka "Get your own fucking water!" award

aka the Shameless I'm not getting fucking pink eye in both of my eyes again so get your own wet wipes award.

Another Thing About P-Dizzle

Posted by eatadump
11:18 PM, Thursday, September 4, 2008 .. Link

One of the funniest things is that we came up with the list while we were driving then kinda finished it at Koo Koo Roo, one of my favorite places to catch a quick healthy lunch. Well looking at the utter disgust on Dan's face as he was forced to eat something that actually might nourish his body was priceless, he was actually pissed at me.

Driving Around

Posted by eatadump
9:59 PM, Thursday, September 4, 2008 .. Link

Earlier today with Porno Dan we came up with a pretty ridiculous list of shit. I actually have to fill you in on the back story. So Dan and myself are now working with a company called iporn.com and to say the least we are having an interesting time. Well, Dan is throwing this party coming up in conjunction with iporn.com & the BBC is covering it for some documentary. As it also turns out Dan is hosting an awards show in conjunction with the event for I forget what company. Anyways, we were coming up with ideas earlier today for what the catagories should be. Here are just a few.

ugliest penis in porn
worst tit job in the biz
weakest load
most wood problems
best tube site
most annoying accent (male & female)
guys who would never get laid off camera if they weren't performers
Dr. Riggs all star patient of the year (male & female)
creepiest director
polish privateer of the year
porncrastinator of the year
worst production manager of the year
most likely to make it as a mainstream actress
suitcase pimp of the year
best dimples (not on your face)
most nose bleeds on set
Heisman award (aka runner of the year)
the Wanderlei Silva roid rage of the year award
shakiest cameraman
most likely to deny that they are in this business
unsung hero

*did I miss anything?

Craven's Guid To Dating In LA

Posted by eatadump
4:20 PM, Tuesday, September 2, 2008 .. Link

I've been getting many emails about howIi bang so many girls? Why do all the girls like you? What can I do to pick up more girls in the la/ oc area? So many emails that I decided to share with my friends the secret and trick to dating the the beautiful species we call Women.

so here is my guide.....

first and foremost you must have money..... girls like flashy shit...

then you gotta have a nice ride. no bitch is gonna come pick you up , and she sure is fuck isn't gonna ride on the bus with you, regardless of how many ride free on your bus pass............ here are 2 examples...... first is a supra the second. an nsx...... i opt for the second since i own one, but its your choice ultimately

remember when you start your date girls want you to listen to them...... i know we dont give a shit what they are saying but you got to pretend.... just like they are when they told you they were cumming........

next get them drunk, like the rap song says " the goose get the girls loose" some shit like that .... they like pills too .....

after bout 10 drinks and 300 dollars later you should be up and running like my boy ken here..... tapen that ass

BUT at times all that still does not guarantee you ass. thats why ive come up with plan B and C......... plan b is a lil more subtle and works almost everytime

in the event plan C is called into action make sure you call for a maid for the following day. shit could get messy

and remember always be a gentlemen and drive the girls home, dont make them walk.... thats mean

BUT BEWARE THERE IS A DOWNSIDE TO ALL THIS ....... stay tuned for the next bulletin i will explain the downside of this method

{ Last Page } { Page 1 of 42 } { Next Page }

About Me


Be sure to check out this other place for quality adult blogs
	Search Engine Optimization and SEO Tools